Trade-Off

Still here, still working it. Been busy doing a hell lot of writing, just not here at the Hard Way. Sorry 'bout that. Well, not really- more important things afoot here in the 'burg. I'll lay it out below.

Here's the breakdown for a typical weekday: Go to work, rush through business stuff and start writing (my job is flexible at this slow time of the year). Write/work/write work all day long. Work day ends at five, stay and write till seven- seven thirty. Go home, walk Rocky the geezer mutt, get a workout in and maybe do a little reading before off to bed.

Weekends are a little different. My wife works full time and is completing her Masters program. We've always split household chores, but now it's shifted to my hands about 99% of the time. No big deal- she'll get to support me when I'm an old fart with leaky plumbing. I take care of domestic duties weekday evenings and half a day on Saturday, give or take. When I'm through with that humdrum business, I try to get in about six hours writing on Saturday and a couple on Sunday. Suffice to say, my yard resembles your yard and that just ain't good.

I did manage to sneak in a movie(s) this weekend. I watched all three of the Red Riding trilogy: 74, 80, 83. Good stuff- check 'em out.

There you go. In a nutshell it's what I've been up to for the last month or so. If I got time to write, I'm working on my book or fiddling with a short story or two. My only regret, is missing out on some of the work by the new friends I've made over the past year. But they're cool. They get what I'm working toward.

Till next time...

Win a Signed, First Edition Copy of Matt Hilton's Slash and Burn!

I know this mug. Cat writes insane thrillers. How insane? You better have nitroglycerin pills and a defibrillator laying around when reading one of his books. You guessed it, I'm speaking of Matt Hilton, the creator of Dead Men's Dust and soon to be released, Judgement and Wrath.

Matt's double cool. So cool, he's running a little competition which gives you the chance to win a signed, first edition copy of his new book, SLASH AND BURN. Matt's giving you this opportunity and all you need to do, is something you should be doing anyhow: Writing! Want more details? I thought you would. Take a little trip over to Matt's blog and check it out: Matt Hilton's Short Story Competition

Good luck!

The Setup

Weaving in and out of a writing euphoria: I knew I was losing it, when I looked over at my fat, black cat, Kitty, and she said "What the fuck's your problem?"

I only asked for her help in solving a few, minor plot issues. I stared her down. She returned the stare. I back down then she backs down. Back and forth this went, until I heard a rustlin/banging noise from the back room. She smiled and I swear to God she nodded- cocky bitch.

I move to the back room and there's our old dog, Rocky, turning her litter box into a smorgasbord. How do you make a puking sound in a blog post? He's chewing...something and smacking his lips, which are now dotted with kitty litter. We do the stare thing. He flashes puppy dog eyes. I chase him out of there and coming back up front, I see what they were up to: Kitty's puked up a hairball on my manuscript.

It was the perfect plan- a well executed setup performed by a ten year old cat and a thirteen year old dog.

And no, there is not a drop of booze flowing through my system.

CRIMEFACTORY IS UP!

I see you there: You're at work. You check your personal email- you're not supposed to. You get the word: Crimefactory is up and running. You check out the site, see those craaazy mug shots and an insane list of authors.

I guess those reports can wait.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction- Part 2

Ever sit down to write something and your mind goes blank? No inspiration? You read the papers, or cruise the internet and it's the same old, same old. Sometimes, it's just outside your backdoor, right in your home town. As is the case with the story linked in this post.

This seemed pretty mild at the beginning. There were a few strange things in the middle- that whole "Babyland" bit. When you get to the end of though, you realize what she went through and what she's now going through. Those last six sentences will break your heart: St. Petersburg Woman Sues Cemetary

The cemetary owner(s)...as my Father in Law would say: "Somebody should bust that fucker in the head."

Indeed.

The Query Blues

As many of you now know, writing a book is only a small part of the battle. When you've decided that the novel is complete and you're ready to put yourself out there to potential agents, you also know that you must have a query to send out first. It's pretty straightforward: Hook an agent with the first sentence and pull them in with 4-5 more. Less is more. Easy.

Or not. Writing a query is like riding through hell on a porcupine. It's a long, uncomfortable process that's a pain in the ass. I'm new to the query letter and trying to get the gist of your book down in a few sentences can be tough. Or really fucking hard. Especially, if your plot is not a "paint by the numbers" plot.

I've probably seen every sample query on the net. They are all different. One site says to do this. Another says to do that. Then I found Query Shark, a blog ran by agent Janet Reid. She gives you specific instructions on the format of a query. You send in your query and maybe she selects and critiques it on her blog. She cuts down to the fucking bone. There's no mollycoddling involved. Nope, she's dead honest and that's why I like her blog. You get to see the queries which made the cut and those which didn't make the cut. Go see for yourself which is the larger of those two categories.

I sent in a query to the shark a few months ago. I think at the time, she mentioned having around 1,700 on the docket, so chances of her ever getting to mine are slim. I'm actually grateful for that. I think I've learned quite a bit about writing a query since then, even if I did read her instructions and followed them. Or rather, thought I followed them- I'm not so sure anymore, after re-visiting her blog. I'm in limbo until she reads it, or it falls into the hand of an agent. It's at that point where I will get the ultimate feedback, in the form of an ass-whipping critque, acceptance or rejection.

I'll finish up with this one point: All agents are different. Research the agent you will be sending your query letter and pages to. Educate yourself on what that particular agent wants and do not be an ignoramus. Even though you may still very well get a rejection slip, at least do yourself the honor of going in with both barrels loaded. After you've done all of that, be patient with the query writing process and do not send it out until it's ready. Your writing career just might depend on it.

A Saturday at Haslam's

On a good Saturday when chores are not in the pipeline, I'll head off to the largest new and used book store in Florida, Haslams. It's a five minute drive, right on Central. I browse for an hour or two, sometimes coming away with one or two books. Today, I picked up four- eight if you consider one is a collection.

It's cold and raw down here in the Burg today. They claimed a brief snow flurry in Tampa. Freezing in Florida means your orange juice is now an expensive commodity. Haslam's is my oasis: cats running around, nice people working the store and sometimes, huge bargains on books you rarely even see at Borders or B&N. I'll state my case for Haslam's below, while you're drinking that five dollar glass of juice.

Ross Macdonald- Sleeping Beauty- $9 hardback. I've become a bit obsessed with Macdonald. His books are hard to find around here and only ocassionaly will Haslam's have one. Beyond his storytelling chops, it's also really his sentence structure that keeps you turning the pages. If you haven't read Ross Macdonald, you need to.

James M. Cain- Serenade- $3 paperback. In my opinion, James M. Cain was at his best in Double Indemnity and a close follow up with Postman. This one looks a little different, but Cain is a master I'm always willing to read.

Ace Atkins- Crossroad Blues- $5 paperback. I've only tried to read one other Ace Atkins book. It was White Shadow. I've picked it up and put it down, a half dozen times. For some reason, I want to like his writing. We'll see if this book can lead me down a better path.

Crime Novels: American Noir of the 1950's- $17 hardback. Five novels: The Killer Inside Me by Jim Thompson. The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith. Pick-Up by Charles Willeford. Down There by David Goodis and The Real Cool Killers by Chester Himes. I was fucking giddy when I found this one. I'll leave it at that.

Total spent- $34

After I bought the books, I went over to a street corner, seafood take-out stand I frequent. It's a funky little establishment. Twelve boiled shrimp and a potato, in spicy garlic butter- $5. Then I went and read some kick ass work by Lee Hughes, David Barber and Michael J. Solender. Now, I'm back home to work on my novel. I've commited to work on it, at least three hours a day. But, I think about it all day.

There you go, a good day in my life. So my friends and enemies, what's a good day in yours?