Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Valhalla Rising- The Movie

A few weeks ago, bored out my ass, I was flipping through movies on demand. Crap and more crap. I wanted- needed something different. I saw this Indie flick. Looked dark, matched the mood. Couldn't possibly be worse than another romantic comedy or yet one more cop movie based in, and sorry for this New Yorker's, New fucking York.

I was skeptical. The preview talked about Vikings. When I think of Vikings, I think of twenty-first century nerds wanting to be Vikings. Don't ask me's one of those people with webbed feet things; nothing wrong with 'em, just keep 'em to yourself.

Valhalla Rising. I watched it with a freind of mine- Ezra Brooks- and tripped. Those first thirty minutes- as brutal and vicious as anything I've seen on film in a long time.

The film stars Mads Mikkelsen as One Eye, an imprisoned Norse warrior who lives a horrendous life, a marginal existence consisting of fighting to the death. Eventually he escapes his captors and travelling with a boy called Are, hooks up with some Christian Vikings and heads to the Holy Land. Only they never make it to the Holy Land.

Along the way there are some dry spots to endure due to lack of dialogue and action, but if you can allow yourself inside the head of One Eye there is a payoff.

And that's my review. Yeah, it's a lame critique because I think movie summaries are best left to the end viewer. And, although it's cliche, I'll add that Valhalla Rising will be one of those movies you either love or hate. Film junkies will dig the cinemetograpy if nothing else. As for all you psuedo tough guys saying "Vikings are for pansies" you I stick my tongue out in condescension and make a fart sound.

On that note, I'll sum up as thus: if you don't mind a journey into the strange, and you're ready to step outside your comfort zone then Valhalla Rising just might be the beverage you're thirsting for.

Ezra Brooks is optional. Recommended


  1. I thought it was brilliant until they reached Newfoundland, then it kinda fizzled until the finale. Mads is definitely the baddest character in the last few years, they should reboot his character into a film with a slightly larger budget.

  2. Agreed, Cormac, on the fizzling. And I also agree about Mads; those opening scenes are vicious!

    I kind of liked him in Royal Casino- especially the chair without a seat bottom scene...ouch! But this performance cemented him for me.